"I'm fulfilling a promise..."

And then there was silence because I had started to sob. I made Patty promise to call me if Max died...and he did today. He was outside with Chewy all day, and Patty saw him when she came home.

Oh, my poor Maxwell. It's like losing a member of my immediate family.

I was downstairs eating dinner and burst into tears; needless to say, I excused myself and am now crying in my room. I have to go to band in a little bit, and I really don't want to now.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

There was an unexpected face in the Enounter crowd, and it made me smile. I hadn't seen him since maybe the first week of this semester. We had a good chat.

My first day at Burger King was good. Everyone was really nice and answered all my questions.

My week is going good. I'm just very happy it's going so well.

We got invited to a costume party on Friday...and I'm waaaaay excited. It's going to be good.

"Hey, cupcake."

I wanna swim away but don't know how
Somtimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up, take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now
Come down, let the rain come down

Lately, I have been very into Blue October. I have their last CD...can you believe I actually cried when I saw the music video for "Hate Me"? And "Into the Ocean" is kind of a downer if you read the lyrics, but it has such a happy melody. Oh, the irony.

I think I've been extra emotional lately. A lot of minor things will set me into a rainfall of tears. Nothing major. An episode of Full House, a song. My friend Katie just told me she missed me (she went to ISU last year and now goes to Loyola), which made me cry. Ashley and I spent most of the day together, which made me happy and a little tear-eyed. When Kaylin picked up the phone when I called Bobby...I miss her.

I'm very glad I went home, even if it only was for one day. I had an excellent time...I needed to see my kids from home. I didn't get to see everyone, but that's okay. Sometimes you just need your girls (or boys).

This week is so much calmer. I turned in my last paper, and I only have one test this week. Tonight I caught up on the TV I missed last week. Mallory taped over the finale of Project Runway, but I'll just catch it later. Ashley and I are putting together our Halloween costumes. Does anyone remember watching Legends of the Hidden Temple on Nickolodeon? Yeah, we're dressing up like that--we're green monkeys (for one night). We're going to pirates another night and '80s girlies another night. Halloween weekend this year is Thursday through Tuesday. Yikes!!! I think we'll be going out maybe two nights and then Halloween (Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight!). I'll make sure to take plenty of pictures.


Jessie, you should call Rachel and talk to her (she would kill you if you asked on myspace so just call her).

Oh, and I forgot to mention that someone suggested me to the WOW committee for Passages weekend. It's the committee that plans out the entire weekend for the freshmen, which is actually kind of cool. I still have to submit an application, so we'll start there.

Did I mention I got a part in the alto soli for the choir concert?

Yeah, this week is definitely looking up. :D

"Hello?" "Hello?"

I love that I play the hello game. You say hello then the other person says hello then you say hello again. It's pretending to see who can go on the longest or something.

I am so slap-happy right now. I think it's mainly due to the fact that it's almost 2:30 in the morning and I'm just winding down to go to bed. I've been studying for this geography test (hey, Jessie, look--I can really spell), and I feel like I am going to ace this thing. You know why? Because it's almost all European history. This thing is going to be so easy. I was studying with some girls from my floor and one of them asked me how I knew what year the Berlin Wall was torn down. Thought it was common knowledge? *shrug* And I love how we talk about supernationalism and the rise of Muslim in Europe. You know why I love that? Because, my dears, that's exactly what I am learning about in my history of the Middle East class. Hooray for everything being so connected.

And to reiterate what Jessie said in her blog, I am extremely glad that I have such good friends and family. And I love that I can blog and my sisters and mother can read it. Bobby called me tonight just to chat, and that made me one happy camper. Random calls for no reason make me very appreciative. :) I will mention yet again that I am uber excited about coming home for this weekend...and so is Ashley.

I will write to thee later by another moonlit sky (in at least 24 hours' time). Look how the yellow'd leaves tremble in the tempermental wind.
The streetlights twinkle below.
I can see Papa John's shinin' up a storm a block away.

Good night, m'darlings.

"I've never been so lost. I've never felt so much at home."

The stress factor is good. Not a lot of it. I do have a test tomorrow in geogprahy, then I have a meeting with my academic advisor to take a crack at my four-year plan (funny how I'm already three semesters in and I'm just now planning). I'm supposed to hang out with Stephanie tomorrow to watch Gone With the Wind, but I think I'll end up being at the library all day working on this paper that's due Friday. Wish me luck, folks.

I just got an email saying that Passages (the freshmen's first weekend on campus before classes started) pictures are up. I'm only in a few, which makes me kind of sad...but it happens. Here's the link in case anyone is interested.

http://www.passages.ilstu.edu/images/Passages_2006_Photos/index.htm

You guys have no idea how excited I am about coming to the weiner roast this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jessie, are you coming home?

"Sawah."

That's what Stephanie calls me in her Stephanie way. I've spent more time with her recently, and I'm glad. I miss having her for a roommate. How can two people so much alike and different at the same time? God only knows.

It's past 1:30 in the morning, and I'm taking a study break from geology. I haven't been this stressed in a while. I have my last midterm tomorrow, which is good, but that means it's midterm paper time. I have three due next week. Good riddance. I only have so much writing creativity. Forgive me if I don't write much for this week...I have to save my mojo for the grades. Ick.

Rachel is coming up Saturday morning. I talked to her tonight...she wants me to go to this Papa Roach concert the day after Thanksgiving. And as much as I would love to see some really smelly, sweaty mulleted men standing around listening to their angry white man music (I actually do like Papa Roach), I will be back at good old SnS making some mulah. Speaking of money, I got a job at Burger King. Tuesdays and Saturdays. I don't know how this is going to work next weekend with the weiner roast (I have orientation tomorrow, I will make sure to ask).

Other than that, I don't have much else. I'm just plain ol' tired. And I honestly don't care if I do well on this test tomorrow since he drops our lowest test grade. So there! Oh....and I have a meeting with my academic advisor (FINALLY) to talk about my minor and schedule out the rest of my schooling here at ISU.

Exciting stuff, right?

"Sweet deal."

My new phrase that I never should have started saying because now I can't stop myself.

Corrie's right. Most people write about their day-to-day events that might seem trivial to some and juicy to others. Well, let's add some meaning to this blog. Liven it up a little.

The question is how much have I changed since graduation.

I love a lot harder...but I let go more easily. I have become way more attached to my family than I ever thought possible. Even though I don't agree with everything they say or do, there isn't anything that could make me stop loving them. Blood is much thicker than water.

I'm more patient. I take more time to do things now. Thank you, Sears Portrait Studio. I think this trait will do me well when I start to teach.

I am much more content to be an onlooker instead of always being the one looked upon. I still do love being the center of attention on a rare occasion, but I think that I enjoy watching other people being spotted more.

I've learned to be quiet. That was hard before and I don't know why. Not everything has to be a melodrama. Not everything I say has to be hysterical. I can just sit in my room and think, no noise necessary.

Music isn't my absolute passion right now. I still love it dearly, but it isn't my core being at the moment. I am just enjoying the extra time to relax and become more comfortable in my own skin.

I don't like talking on the phone as much as I used to...and I don't call as many people as I used to. Instead I email or blog. But I certainly don't deny calls. I even accept them after 2:00am if necessary.

Things that haven't changed...

I still love all my friends dearly, even if I don't talk to them as often as I should. That doesn't mean that I don't think about them and want to be near them, be there for them when they needed a shoulder to cry on.

I'm still tall and chunky. Still squishy around the middle and still give great hugs. My hair color has changed from time to time, but I still look like a Spengler.

I have always been a picture whore. This we can't deny. I probably asked Mom to take my picture a lot when we were little. Now I'm taking them myself.

I believe that things work out for a reason. Maybe you can call that fate, I don't know. Everything has a purpose, whether we know it or not.


Folks, have a glorious evening...I will talk to you later.

Oh, and one thing I love about coming home. I love waking up and knowing Dad and Patty are across the hall or Mom is just downstairs. I feel more secure in my beds at home than anywhere else.

"Wow, you look perky..."

It's true. Today was good.

I talked to Wheaton for a while, and that was good, too. Not much else to report...I'll put some more pictures up pretty soon.


--EDIT 10:12PM--
Photos have been uploaded to Yafro. If you don't know what Yafro is, just click the pictures link on the side of this page.

Enjoy!!!

I thought you guys would appreciate this.  

"What does it mean now?"

It's a World Party song, and I would show you come lyrics but I can't find them online.

Today Stephanie went out on the quad to the breast cancer bus. We bought some pink bracelets and were a little too late for the free T-shirts. Oh, and we also bought some raffle tickets for the new music sorority they're trying to set up. Wouldn't that be fun to join??? You don't have to be a music major/minor, and I would be with a lot of people that would care as passionately as I do for music. Or maybe not. I hate sororities with a violent dislike. Ick.

I talked to Kristen and Bekki last night and Corrie today. I am just the regular conversationalist. I miss talking to my Lunch Buddies from home. And I think this weekend will be fun because Jessie is coming home (mad props for the updates, guys!). I had no idea who was getting married until I saw some comments on Jessie's myspace (and wow, do I feel like a stalker). Mom, I'll burn you a CD of pictures. :)

Now for the crappy part of my day, homework. Booo!!!

Oh, and PS I am thoroughly excited to say that I have been a diet the last couple of weeks and I have lost a pants size. AND today is dessert day so I had a piece of cake and it was absolutely delicious. Mmmmm.

"Whomever decided on the weather today must be feeling a little bipolar."

Not much to report, folks. I've been keeping busy all week with homework. I'm going home for the whole weekend this time--Rachel's senior football game is on Friday.

And I am starving. I can't wait for my roommate to get out of class.

"You can't stop the beat!!"

Bekki and I went to Hairspray last night. It was absolutely fantastic. I have to say that I am extremely glad that we went. We got autographs after the show and met the leads.

Friday was the Barn Dance. It was a blast, too. Overall, it was a very good weekend (minus the stress of my Jacob Riis paper that was due today).

I am borrowing a friend's CD--Angels and Airwaves. They sound emo-esque. The second song is definitely along those lines.

The friendships we made, is a waste our time.
There's no one left here, to show a future that's kind.
It's a world of hate, gone incredibly wrong.
We cared to late, we just followed along.

Did anyone else notice the grammatical error? Yep, it's in the paper dealie in the front of the CD. And I'm also confused about what they're trying to convey. All the pictures in the album are of WWII images--fighter planes, empty shells of buildings in London. The songs kind of go along with it, but still...they're emo? I don't get it.

Anyway, I posted some pictures for you because Yafro hates me with a passion.

"We got mail?! Are you sure...?"

I got two things in the mail today, it was an occasion for great excitement. Dad sent me a note with a picture of Kaylin and Bekki sent me something, too.

And you're asking why I update twice in one day. Why to give you pictures of course. The one with the huge hair is just an example of what it looks like after being blown dry. I threw it in there for good measure. Tell me what you think!

"Why the hell would you do that?"

I was talking to one of my tipsy friends last night, and she rather disturbed that I would dye my hair purple. I figured that since my hair is so dark it would be more a purple tint than an actual purple, which is exactly what happened. Ashley and I decided to do it spur of the moment--hers is now bright red. We'll take some pictures later so you can all see it. Oh, and it's just temporary, so no worries.

Four of my closest friends and myself are now on a diet. We're holding each other accountable...eating together and exercising together. I think we're all pretty excited about it. Except for the cheese thing. No cheese. And no booze because, well, that is just empty calories right there. So maybe I'm not uber excited about it, but if I keep my goal in mind, I think we'll be safe.

Today I have a buttload of homework to do, so I'm going to go take my shower and do my thing. Have a lovely rest of the day, folks.

"You have a sh*itload of mail to go through when you go home."

Lol, I bet you can guess who said that. :)

Mom, Lynn (sp?), and Rachel made it to my concert. I showed them my room afterwards, swiped them drinks, and gave Mom some of the albums I found at the vinyl place. And some Halloween candy. That makes pretty much everyone feel better, right?

I'm waiting for Mallory and Ashley to get back so we can eat and they discuss the goings on of Oswego this weekend.

I talked to Patty shortly after Mom left, and she told that Jeff and Elsa (Kathy and Mike's son and his now-legal Mexican wife) are finally having their wedding reception this Saturday. Since the Barn Dance is Friday, I am going home Saurday morning for the reception then coming back Sunday morning because Bekki bought us Hairspray tickets.

Mom, if you want to have the weiner roast the weekend before Halloween, go for it.

Looks like October will be a month of several home visits.

"Strike!"

So I'm not as bad at bowling as I once was. Oh, yeah! Since Mallory and Ashley went home for the weekend, I was left to my own vices. Last night Heather and I had dinner and rented some movies after some major window shopping over in Campustown. Today we did some real shopping at the vinyl store next to the movie rental place. My first time in there...and I was impressed with all the records going for one dollar. Let's just say we spent a lot of time in there and a little bit of cash. My pal Marlisa and I went to Wal*Mart today to get some things for the Barn Dance on Friday. I finally got some boots and a few accesories for my cowgirl get-up. The ultimate deal is the red straw cowgirl hat. Yes, folks, one dollar. I was very excited indeed. Got some red dye for my Halloween outfit (I will be attempting Lucille Ball, for those of you who weren't aware). Oh, yes, and we now have a Superman container filled with Halloween candy. Our room is starting to look rather festive.

On a less chipper note, I spoke to Rachel today who told me Mom is "sicker than a dog." That sucks! I hope you feel better soon. I'm kind of sad that Mom probably won't make it. Dad wants to be in the fields tomorrow, too. So it looks like it's just Rachel. But you know what? She might be coming up here all by herself...and somehow that kind of makes up for it. She will drive for an hour to see me sing two songs that will sound like crap then drive another hour back. It means she loves me. And I love her. It's funny how something so little can mean so much.

Getter better, Mom!


Oh, and does anyone have Uncle Tim's email address? JR and AM don't have it...any other takers?

"Government Mule is the name of a band? How lame!"

Says the old roomie. I got a sample off iTunes, and Gov't Mule just happened to be on there.

Nothing new to report. Ashley and Mallory are home for the weekend, so it's just me in the room. It feels kind of weird. The only other weekend they've been gone I was at home so it didn't really seem like we missed much.

I ate a big bag of puppy chow today...Glenn and I are going to bowl tomorrow and have a movie night. We're trying to round up some more people. Concert on Sunday.

Oh, and enjoy the movie.

"I talked in my sleep?"

I couldn't fall asleep last night...mainly because I had too much on the brain. I was thinking about money mostly, to be honest. I have to say money isn't a top priority of mine, never really has been. I've been a lot more careful with it recently...I hate that I was thinking about it so much. I still haven't heard about the usher position yet, so I'm going to apply to the dining center this week. A job. w00t.

I have two more tests this week and another paper due next Friday in addition to another test next week. Bleh. I'm busy, busy, busy.

"Made in China."

I want to edit a picture of Cathy Yu with that as the caption. Lol.

This is me avoiding my studying for my geology test tomorrow.

I ate too much at dinner and now I feel like a beached whale.

And I am going to be Lucille Ball for Halloween. Exciting, right? It's too bad I don't have a Ricky Ricardo. *shrug* Oh, and I will be coming home Oct. 6-8 for Rachel's football game. Plus it's homecoming weekend, so I figured some of my buddies will be back, too. I guess we'll see.

"Okay. Alright. Okay. Alright."

Song. w00t.

As per Jessie's request, I posted wedding pictures on yafro in addition to several others. I'm so glad I got a camera!!!!!!!! I always update on facebook, but I sometimes neglect yafro and photobucket. I think we're now up-to-date on all three, n'est-pas? Oui.

I woke up at 8:45 when I have class at 9:00. It was a mad dash to put some clothing on and make it to class before attendence was taken. He is such a Nazi about attendence. Geeze, Louise. Did I mention I tired I am so much of the time? I am just worn out. I'll get in bed (always by midnight if not earlier) then I can't fall asleep for what seems like forever. I am kind of disappointed that my old sleeping position doesn't work in this room. In 460, I always put my arm over my face and fell right to it, but in 362, I have to lay on my stomach because the AC goes right up my nose if I don't (the AC is at the end of my bed). I really want to take a nap, but I'm afraid if I nap I won't be able to fall asleep early tonight. Bloody mess, if you ask me.

Now I am off to eat or watch TV or do some homework or something. G'day, folks.

PS I had this dream where Max died one weekend, Aunt Mae died the following weekend, then Grandma died the next week. That would be one of the worst months in the history of Sarah. It was all about the going home and crying and horrible feelings. Sorry to end the blog on an unpleasant note.

"I must get away from the fumes."

Not to be gross or anything but our room has been filled with noxious gas lately. It's disgusting. It's not just 362's inhabitants either. We've had pretty much the regular group in our room every night for the past week or so...and let's just say people are getting waaaaaay too comfortable with themselves. There are some things that should be left outside in the hallway. Geeze.

And now on to my real purpose in writing. I am trying to keep myself well entertained until Mallory finishes with some of her reading. We've been going through a Sex in the City marathon for the past two weeks or so. We're almost done with season three--and we found someone with the entire collection, so you can imagine how much fun we're having. Mondays and Wednesdays I kind of get to blow the homework off--it's extremely nice. I only have one class Tuesdays and Thursdays...even better. Tomorrow, though, will be very productive day (I hope). I want to wake up early to take a shower and get some breakfast, go to my one and only class of the day (not to mention the most boring!), laundry time, lunch with Ashley, study study study! I have a test and a paper due on Friday so I'll be working on that, not to mention the music I have to have memorized for my concert next weekend, and the book I need to start reading for my Middle Eastern history class.

Things aren't that bad really. I am getting used to the workload, so I am also being a little more gungho on the job search. I think I'll make a trip down to the Career Center, and if nothing looks appealing, I'll take a stab at the dining center. It wouldn't be too bad since Stephanie (roommate #2) works there right now along with a couple of other girls I knew from my floor last year. Mallory wants to find a job, but I don't think she would ever consider a dining center job. All I have to say is that there is no way in hell I will ever go back to Sears for seasonal employment. Boo!!!!!!!!!

I also found it rather amusing that all of us talked about Uncle Tim dancing at Aunt Molly's wedding. I guess it was a historical event worth documenting. ;) By the way, thank you for taking me out to lunch on Saturday. I had fun, Mom. I hope you're feeling better! And wow, I haven't felt this blabby in a long time. I never feel like writing anymore because, well, I don't feel like there is anything significant to note. I will say this much, though, I do have a lot of fun whether it's significant or not.

PS The mini-feed on facebook is border-line stalker.

"She says no because you smell."

Dates to remember:
-September 24 2:00 (choir concert)
-November 12 2:00 (band concert) and 5:00 (choir concert)
-December 3 3:00 or 7:00 (Music for the Holidays)

"I feel like a whale..."

We've been eating a lot. The cake I made for Mallory is still sitting here waiting to be eaten. Monday night we went for Thai food right after I got off the train then got some Ben & Jerry's and attempted to eat some cake. We celebrated both Mallory's and our friend Erica's birthday since it was yesterday.

I've been a little on the lacking side where sleep in concerned. I'm trying but between homework and this chick book I started and can't put down, it's hard to make it to bed early. I'm just hoping I don't get sick again. I can without that.

Uncle Mike's (Patty's sister's husband) dad died Sunday night. I don't know when the wake/funeral is, but if it's over the weekend, I think I'll go home for it. I am hoping it isn't, as bad as that sounds. Some of my friends' friends are coming up from Champaign and we're all going to the football game on Saturday and going to do a party later. Plus I was just home...for four nights. It felt weird coming back to school. It was a quasi-break. I'm crossing my fingers that there will be no reason for me to come home until the weiner roast (when is that?). Or maybe Rachel's senior night. That's important to here. Maybe I'll just come down for the game with some of my buddies. We all enjoy a good football game. I hope Jessie's premonition about Aunt Mae is incorrect. *crosses fingers*

I won't narrate the wedding because, well, my most constant readers were there. And for those of you who weren't there, it was fantastic. Best Spengler party in the last ten years. Easily. I will burn you a CD, Mom, but I would like it if I could get copies of your pictures, too. The whole weekend was good. Drank a little too much, but who didn't, man? It was weird seeing the entire family after a few drinks up and groovin' it on the dance floor. Especially Mom trying to shake her groove thing and Uncle Tim doing the Pony. I about peed my pants I was laughing to hard. Gotta love those Spenglers. :)

"Sarah! What the hell were you thinking?!"

Muahaha. Since Mallory's birthday is tomorrow, and I am missing it we decorated her part of the room. It included toilet paper, porn printed off from her computer, and a lot of multi-colored, fun-flavored condoms taped all over the bottom part of the loft. This all for my uber-conservative roommate. :)

I found an emo cover of a song I really like. "I Think It's Going To Rain Today."

Broken windows and empty hallways
A pale dead moon in the sky streaked with gray
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles
With frozen smiles to chase love away
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

Lonely, lonely
Tin can at my feet
Think I'll kick it down the street
That's the way to treat a friend

Bright before me the signs implore me
To help the needy and show them the way
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today

"Free stuff? WHERE?"

A college kid's dream? A carnival where you can get free food, toys, and T-shirts. Oh, yes.

Me being sick has been like riding a roller coaster. I was getting better then last night I ended up getting an almost migraine and then puking. Every time I get the worst headaches I end up getting sick. Not fair. I am still trying to take it easy and going to bed fairly early. My cough is just gross. Yuck.

Anywho, Mallory and I are currently chilling in the room, listening to the Rent soundtrack, and we decided that Rosario Dawson sounds better than the Mimi on broadway because she lacks the major vibrato.

I got a couple of presents for Mom this week and am thoroughly excited about them. And per her request, I added a few pictures of my hair so you can kind of see it. I'm sorry they aren't great, but you'll all see it within the next few days. I promise it won't look any different.

"You can't marry someone until you can fart in front of them."

Great line.

This weekend was both good and bad. We watched a lot of Sex in the City. My cold won't go away...the conjestion has gotten better but the cough worse. I spent a lot of time in the room because I wasn't in the mood to really go out. Both nights I stayed up later than I should have and got several unwanted phonecalls and texts. I counted the text messages I recieved from Friday night and Saturday night...somewhere around 70. That's a hell of a lot of texts. And to make a long story short, nothing changed. I hate guys sometimes. I have some more homework to finish tonight before I head to bed, so I'm going to get crackin' on that.

Oh, and I'm coming home Thursday night. Thursday through Sunday. Mom, I don't need a ride, but thanks for the offer. :) Have a delightful evening, kiddies.

"Hey, love, I'm not leaving here."

Listening to the Dog & Everything. I went to one of their shows last year--not too shabby.

I've started to feel much better since my last depressing entry. Things have been going all right. Today was amazing because I only had one class, had lunch with a buttload of people I hadn't seen in forever, and I managed to highlight my hair. Although some people (i.e. Mom) probably won't like it, I do. So it's all good. On a rather dispicable note, I paid over $600 for my books this semester. Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!

Last night we (Scott, Mallory, Ashley, Erica, and I) went to a Mexican Fiesta, which consisted of a lot of people from our church group in a tiny apartment with a lot of Mexican food. We had a lot of fun and even pooped out early to go home and watch some Sex and the City before hitting the hay. I think Mal is going to be an excellent influence on my sleeping habits. I've managed to get some 8ish hours a night of sleep. Go us, right? Tonight, we're going to church--actually, we leave in about fifteen minutes. It'll be the first time I've been to church since the last time I went to Encounter back in the beginning of May. Exciting, eh?

On a side note, I am ecstatic about the freshmen buddies I have made in the past week. Working Passages was a really good idea. I see the froshies all across campus. Quite a few girls live on Southside so I seem them a lot. Anyway, I need to go primp. Later, dudes.

"Garrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!"

I want to start this giant mosh pit. Break my nose, bleed a lot, smash my arms and legs against other angry people. Feel some pain. See other people that are angry, too. Only the first week of school. I am already frustrated. I am fed up with one person in particular.

Rachel left earlier and already I miss her. I want to cry I miss her that much. And I am sure my anger is accentuating the fact that I miss my little sister. I wish my best friend could be here all the time. I wish she could just show up whenever the hell she felt like it. But Miss Rachel has her own life now, which only slightly merges with mine. Poor kid. I don't think she realizes how much I love her.

And me listening to emo music and looking through pictures doesn't help. I am tired and frustrated and angry. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and wonder what my chemical imbalance is. No, emo. Bad, emo! I wish I had Billie up here so I could go drive around for a while. Or a Bekki to talk to. I miss her, too. I hate bad days.

Oh, yeah, and to top it all off, I have this humongous red bump on the right shoulder blade. I have no idea if it's a bite or not. It's big. And red. But not itchy or getting any larger. It's gross, that's what it is.

And I miss Max. Not even an hour before I left home I sat down and cried with my Maxwell. My attachment to that dog is very similar to the way I feel about Rachel. He doesn't look good. In fact, he looks miserable. I told him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him. How happy he makes me. How I adore him. I wish he knew what I was talking about. I could tell he knew I was leaving home. He sat and watched me pack.

Well, you can pretty much ignore this whole entry. It's me complaining about being homesick. I'm frustrated and angry, mainly just because I miss being at home. I am almost 20-years-old, and I still miss my sisters, parents, and pets. And my friends. :) I hate it. A whole bunch. I'll be home in two weeks. And I am excited.

God, I feel pathetic.

"I got me a gun and a shovel. Ain't nobody gonna miss you, kid."

I had Taco Bell earlier. Not such a hot idea. Phew.

I am such a hypocrit. I keep wanting everyone else to post so I can know what's going on and yet I haven't really done such a good job of it myself. 'Tis all right, though.

Currently, Rachel is sitting in my beanbag on my floor watching Anastasia. Really good cartoon. Hells yeah. She came to visit me, and I am thoroughly excited. Her train was uber late. Although I think we chose a bad weekend just because of the Big and Rich concert and all the Passages (freshmen orientation) stuff going on this weekend. Orientation has kept me busy and extremely worn out. But fun. I made a lot of friends, and some of the activities weren't too bad. I must say that I skipped the scrimmage, the movie, and the midnight breakfast tonight. Rachel and I were just too tired.

The dorm thing is amazing. I am so excited to be back now. It's wonderful, it's marvelous, it's delirious, it's just...*snuggles with pillow* I'm happy now. :) Not that I wasn't before...it's just different.

Can't wait for AM's wedding, though!

"Why you callin' so late? Is everything okay?"

So, why am I in love with this song? There is not really any significance to the words...and yet everytime it comes on when I'm in the car by myself, I sing it at the top of my lips and want to cry. Weird, you might say. I would probably have to agree. This is and "Looking Through the Glass" by Stone Sour. Oh, well...

This is me taking over Rachel's laptop to check all the going-ons of the neighborhood kiddies because I have given up on calling people. You work 50 hours a week, sleep all day, and see if you want to talk to people who don't make any attempt to contact you all summer. Bleh.

Dad called me a slob because my room looks like a tornado went through it. And the bathroom garbage was slightly overflowed. What else is new, people? Read the afore mentioned statement about working 50 hours a week and sleeping all day. Does face looks like it cares? Not too much.

I have tomorrow off, though I have no idea why. And I will be working late both Monday and Tuesday (my last day). We're throwing a tiny party for my sake. :) Last night Orlandon kept saying how much he was going to miss me. Somehow, the several people who say things like that to me make the really crappy hours and grumpy nights all worth it.

The rest of the week looks busy. A party, perhaps. Friday is the Park concert with Matt. Saturday, Bekki, Wyatt, and I are headed for Belleville to make a party stop at Dallas'. The few days after that will consist of me packing and getting everything ready for school. Aren't we all excited about going back to school? Most of my friends are ready to go back. I know the ISU kids certainly are ready...and so are the few of the Lunch Buddies that I still talk to.

Congratulations on spending your summer in a manner that flew by like no other.

"I love mint shakes."

I worked 47 hours last week. And I had 2 days off. I am the master. I also don't have a life. :) I am having problems with one of the assistant managers. I think we're going to have to have a talk. It started up a couple of weeks ago. I have two weeks left and she's being as big a biznatch as she can. Grrrr.

So yes, two weeks left. Oh, Steak 'n Shake. I will miss thee. I'll be back on holidays, but I'm hoping that Christmas break will be the last of me working there. I think I might have plans for spring break, and hopefully, next summer I will be working on campus. It makes me kind of sad that I have never held a job for more than a summer. Oh, well.

Tonight, Mom, Rachel, and I will be going to O'Charley's for dinner and see LOB's Aida (however that is spelled) out at the Muni. It should be good...I heard it was from a little Corrielynn. Sidenote: I sometimes wonder how Rachel feels about me. Every night I have off I usually hang out with her or call her or something. She almost always wants to do something when I ask, but do you think I'm a little overbearing? When I was still in high school, my group of friends was her group of friends...and now that I'm gone, she's become a little social butterfly. Was I holding her back? I can't help that I love having my little sister for a best friend. She's my Rachel, and I love her. I just hope that I'm not a huge pain in her ass.

Anywho, dates to remember:
Aug. 8--last day of SnS
Aug. 10--Twilight Parade
Aug. 11-13--going-out-of-town bash somewhere in there
Aug. 15--moving into Atkin 362
Aug. 16--training for move-in leaders
Aug. 17-20--passages weekend for the freshman and Rachel visiting
Aug. 31--coming home for Labor Day weekend
Sept. 2--AM's wedding!!!!!

"I'm okay with it if you are."

I'm going to Oswego tomorrow!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think you realize just how excited I am right now. *does a little dance*

I have to be at work in a little bit...not particularly happy about it. Last night I went in only to find out I was an extra so Rachel and I went to go see the Benchwarmers which was really funny. Rented Rumor Has It and Red Eye. I liked Rumor Has It. I was slightly disappointed in the end, though. Oh, well. Not all chick flicks end them the way you want them to. Today, I met Kristen and Cathy at Little Saigon. First time I'd ever been there...delicious. Jake happened to be there, and neither one of us made any effort to acknowledge the other. Gotta love those family ties.

That's about it. I update twice in one week, aren't you proud? Oh, yeah, I am moving back in August 15. *happy dance* I don't think I've expressed how much I miss being on campus. I will hug my mattress (as soon as some sheets are put on), and I will hug Mallory so many times she'll think I'm trying to cop a feel. Oh, it'll be great. <3

PS The funniest thing happened last night when Rachel and I came home. I think I embarassed the new boyfriend quite a bit. :D

"Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars..."

You get a cookie if you know where that quote is from.

Luke got fired from SnS last night. Poor kid. He was pissed to say the least.

Today was Grandma's birthday. I treated Aunt Priscilla, Kathy, Rachel, and Grandma to some tastiness at the Pretzel Plaza. Aunt P left a shitty tip so I left a few extra. We drove down to J-ville to visit Grandpa, then proceeded to drive around and look at huge rich-people houses on State St. All the sight-seeing and bad driving made me queasy which worsened when we went to DQ. Ice creams makes me want to throw up. I had hoped this day would not come but obviously it has. Ice cream is sooooooooo gross. I'm getting sick just thinking about it. Icksdbsjfbljms.

I am going to Oswego for Friday night. Ashley's birthday was today, and Mallory is in Beauty and the Beast. My girls! And Bobby earns the title of coolest older brother. He somehow managed to convince Dad and Patty that I really am 19-years-old and need a little time off the farm and away from SnS. I've worked my butt off the past five or six weeks, and since I can't go on vacation with them, this is my little outting. "You've got her on such a tight leash." She doesn't do anything anymore. "That's because you told her she can't go anymore, she can only use the car for work." We never see her anymore. "You encourage her to get all the hours she can get. And apparently, that's until 3:30 in the morning." Hooray for someone to stand up for me. I really hate lying. I've done my fair share of it, and rather badly. Sure there are a few things I just don't bring up, but when asked, I am honest with them. I mean, come on, I will be twenty in less than six months. I'm not the little Sarah Mae who ran around the yard singing operatic-Sarah Italian anymore. They are finally giving me some breathing room here and I owe it all to Bobby. So thank you very much for being a cool older brother, I appreciate it.

I've been hanging out with Mom more, which I love. We tend to watch movies. We watched An Unfinished Life Sunday night...I think it was unanimous--we loved it. A cattle ranch in Wyoming with Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman, AND Josh Lucas? Geeeeeeze. Josh Lucas is gorgeous. And although I didn't originally want to see it because J. Lo is in it, I really liked it. She wasn't that annoying. :)

The Godfather is going slowly. I've lost my original gusto for reading. Right now I am beginning to think Johnny Fontane will be taking over the Don's business. Seems justifiable. He is the Godson afterall. *shrug*

I think that's about it. I won't bore you with work stories, hahaha. Oh, yeah. Two thinks that make me happy? Kristen, Cathy, and I will be eating a late lunch at Little Saigon Thursday afternoon. I talked to Kevin Imhoff on the phone for what seemed like forever tonight--it was good. I miss my kids. Anyway, have a good one, folks.

"I look like the fat cafeteria lady. Jesus."

It's true. So would you like to know how many hours I worked last weekend? 28. In three nights. Effing nuts, let me tell you. I am so glad I'm in with the night manager. The busiest I've ever seen SnS was this past Friday around 12:30am. Cahrazy night. All the drunks came out, including some kids I know from ISU. Brian said, "Hey, how're you? Thanks for the food. I'm drunk!" He laughed and I retorted with, "Well, I'm glad to see you're driving around then." The cops pulled him over as they were exiting the parking lot and I laughed so hard I cried. I'm almost positive they got arrested because they're under agers. Idiots.

Anyway, so what's been going on with me? I saw Cars with Dad, Patty, Bobby, his girlfriend, and all the kids the day before Father's Day. Last week Rachel and I saw The Omen and Superman. Last night Matt and I went to the drive in and saw Nacho Libre and X-Men 3 (yes, again-that makes it three times). Anyway, Nacho Libre is no doubt the biggest waste of time known to earth. Jack Black...oh, God. I could do without seeing his butt crack which appeared several times in the hour and a half of the movie. I've been hanging out with Bekki more, which is fun. Today we went to the mall and chilled out. Went into I don't know how many stores. She got her other ear cartilage pierced and I got second holes. I know Mom will roll her eyes when she reads this--morwe holes in those beautiful ears??? Yes, indeed. We went into Hot Topic and spent quite a bit of time browsing. I felt especially emo today with my Mae T-shirt and cat-eye glasses. I'm such a goof sometimes.

I feel bad because Kristen and Cathy keep calling me to hang out, but it never seems to work. They have class during the week, and Kristen works, too. All I do on the weekends anymore is work, sleep, and eat on occasion. Speaking of which, I've lost 10 pounds since I left school. Go me? Oh, yeah, and little Luke works with me at Steak 'n Shake. He seems to like it enough.

Anyway, that's about it. I'm going to Oswego next weekend to see Mallory (the future roommate) in Beauty and the Beast. I'm going up Friday on the train then coming back on Saturday...I haven't seen her since I left the train depot back during finals week. I miss my Oswego kids immensely. And Scott should be coming down to visit sometime this month, so hopefully that will work out. I miss him a lot, too. Yep. Hi, everyone, hope your day is going well. I've been sitting here for two and a half hours checking my email and everyone's journals, so I think I should be off. Have a good one.

"You know--vanilla ice cream and hot fudge make some damn tasty sundae."

Damn perverts.

You want to know what's going down? All I do is sleep, work, and eat--and luckily, with a 65% discount. I really don't hang out with my friends like I used to. Don't have time, don't want to drive all the way into Springfield so it's more convenient for them. I'm such a lazy ass, and yet...

...I'm jogging. I'm being more careful of what I eat. And since Dad and Patty have abandoned cooking for almost the past month, I have resorted to eating all of Patty's diet food, which really isn't too bad. Shed about 9 pounds as well as another couple of inches off my hair. It's short.

So maybe I am lazy in some endeavours but not in all. Nope, I'm happy with my slow, do-nothing summer so far. Work has treated me well. Everyone loves me--not trying to sound like I have a fat head or anything. I'm just nice and exchange pleasantries with everyone. And I offer to stay late when I realize Brenda is short one person on drive-thru or needs me for a couple of extra hours, which means my 5-11pm shift usually turns into 5-2am. Hello, money. I work the line and have been trained on drive-thru, fountain (shakes and desserts), dress (fixing up burgers), cash-counter, steam (fries, onion rings, anything involving chili). Now all I need to learn is burgers, and I will be the queen!! Most of the people that do production are men, so they love a nice girl in the back who's always more than willing to help out. We have a good time. I make some tips, too, especially from our regulars. Oh, yeah, and tonight got so busy I was doing drive-thru and running out into the dining area to clear tables since our bus boy was running late. I talked to Brenda, who is the usual night manager, and asked her if I was just summer employment or if they meant to keep me on inactive until breaks...but she said, "You're great worker--you let me know when you want to work a week ahead of time and I will get you on the schedule." Exciting stuff, eh?

Enough about work, although it might be life-consuming. Mom and Rachel are on the east coast looking at schools. I'm babysitting the girls and Kitty. Tiger is the biggest whiner now. She really hates being in the kennel, but I can't let her lose because of the construction around the house and I can't leave her in the house all day because I am usually there once a day--either before or after I get off work so that's weird hours. And she and Peanut both have tiny tanks. Father's Day was uneventful. I wish I could have spent more of it with Dad. I came home a little early from work with the new Pink Panther movie, some mixed nuts, a cheesy card, and some kettle korn. We had a good time, just the two of us chilling out on the couch. And Patty is back at work, which means her back is hurting a lot less. A plus for everyone. Oh, yeah, and I'm made it through another three Jane Austen books. Muahaha. I'm just starting Persuasion. I think I have only two left to finish her collection. Shcore.

Hope this was enough for your enjoyment. I'm going to sleep because I have to get up early tomorrow. Big day ahead of me. ;) G'night.

"All I need is a drink, a cig, and a good screw."

A quote edited for your viewing pleasure. :) And it wasn't me saying it either.

The piece of crap blazer, which I make a point not to complain about too much is extremely frustrating on this very dreary, wet day. Normally, it doesn't cause me too many problems, but since we are in the biggest downpour I've seen in a long while and my windshield wipers have a mind of their own, I'm just plain ol' pissed. Stupid windshield wipers. I don't complain about the extreme amount of gas it eats or the oil it guzzles consistently or the funny smell of the upholstery. No, I've loved that car and treated it well. Yet it fails me when I need the whindshielf wipers most. Because of this reason, I have yet to name it. I don't think I ever will. Stupid, ridiculous No-Name Blazer. Curse you and your flippin' windshield wipers.

You know what else is extremely aggrivating???? Not being able to check your internet about every other day, that's what. I hate getting my stupid spam. If I don't check my email every couple of days, I get an uncontrollable amount of crap in my inbox that I must sift through at a later date. And the library must have figured out what myspace is because it is now blocked. I think I got to see everyone's journals that aren't on myspace, and I managed to check my email and facebook. So what is my problem, you ask? I'm in a rather cruddy mood. Boo.

Graduation for my Glenwood kiddies is on Saturday, and I will be attending. I also have, I think, four or five parties I'm going to this weekend, too. Corrie and I went shopping today for Jared, Brian, Steve, and Justin. We got them some good stuff. Anyway, I'm excited about that.

And unfortunately, in the spirit of negativity, I have not found a job yet. I kid you not, I feel like I've applied to every place on the west side and then some. I wish just one place would call me back so I could start making some money. I saw J-Dub when I went to go see X-Men on Sunday, and he told me he would call Carrie to get me back for the summer. I'm really hoping so. I am desperate here. But I will not sell my body for cash. No need to become a Madame.

At least I've kept my sense of humor, eh? I have nothing to do now, so I'm going to catch a bite to eat before meeting Mom and Rachel at West 12 to see the DaVinci Code. Have a great week, everyone.

"When am I going to get some Sarah lovin' time?"

Would you believe it...I miss everyone so much. *pouts* I've talked to Scott a couple of times, and some other people haven't returned my phone calls. Boo on you.

Not much going on that the family doesn't know about. Rachel got a 34 on the ACT, and wow, was she excited. I felt honored to be the first one she called. Yes, I'm bragging, I can't help it. Mom's birthday was last week. I plan on taking her to the DaVinci Code sometime soon--girls' night out. We went to the Old Capitol Art Fair on Saturday, too. It was a good time...I think Rachel and I enjoyed the fair-type food more than anything else. ;)

So far I've managed to hang out with all the lunch buddies at the jazz band dance, Cathy and Kristen at the DaVinci Code, Wyatt and Steve at Denny's, Wheaton took me to Wal*Mart [:)], Mia and I had a picnic in Washington Park. Scott is moving back to Bloomington tomorrow for the preview training, which means he will be only an hour away vs. the previous three hours.

I'm still jobless. It's hurting, quite a bit. I am trying, believe you me. It seems no one wants to hire this Sarah Lewis. I don't understand. Look at me, how could you not want me?? :D I'm thinking about going to the temp agency. We'll see.

I had 537 emails. I hate spam.

Hope all is well in the land of everyone else. I need to return a phone call and go home, so I need to get going. I promise I will try to update more--especially if I get the wireless back up and running at Dad's. Love you all. <3.

"I didn't realize 'wazoo' was a real word."

Yeah...so I applied for jobs up the wazoo today. Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum, Chili's, Applebee's, Olive Garden, some restaurant downtown, Memorial. Yep. I told Dad and Patty that I am taking a break tomorrow. I need to clean my room up--it's difficult to maneuver in there so I have so much stuff for so little a space. I somehow managed to come home with three times as much stuff as when I went up to school. I'm almost thinking about being ghetto and putting the fridge in my room, but I somehow don't think it's a necessity. I would more than likely stock it with large amounts of diet pepsi and call it a day.

At any rate, I have a lot of pictures. From both moving out and the jazz band dance. Rachel and I both looked pretty good, I'm not going to lie. Oh, and speaking of Rachel (drum roll please!)...she got a 34 on her ACT! Our little genius. It makes me want to tear up a little. I'm very proud of her. :) I was the first person she called, too. That also made me want to tear up. I can't believe she'll be going to college in a little bit herself. Jessie, do you feel old? Because I do.

I can hear Dubya coming from the TV in the other room. I think I'll stick out in the computer room. I would much rather write in here than listen to the president, as disappointed as Grandma would be to read that. Grey's Anatomy's season finale is tonight, so I will be sneaking off to my room with the tiny black-and-white TV so I can see the entire show here in a bit. I love that show...last night's episode was pretty intense! Anywho, I am around and not working if anyone wants to hang out. :) Au revoir!

"You arms are my castle, your heart is my sky."

So I was just now walking down the hall and I started to cry. I feel ridiculous...but not really. I am done with all my finals. My first year of college is over with. I have to go home and spend time with people I haven't really seen for the past nine months (because the people I have been spending time with all live up north :).

I've missed my lunch buddies quite a bit. And now I will miss my ISU friends for the next three months. Katie doesn't even know if she is coming back to school here in the fall, so there is a really good chance I won't see again (she lives in Maryland).

I've made some CD mixes and little videos for people...I'm not sure what to give Scott or Stephanie.

When she moves out tomorrow, I will be sad to no end.

Have I mentioned how much I love it here? How it's one of my favorite places in the world? How I've met so many people and learned to love just about every single one of them? How I even like my silly dorm bed? How I enjoy walking around the quad at night? If I haven't mentioned those things, now you know.

I was leaving my math final tonight and it was pouring outside. God sliced open some clouds and let the water flow. I stood in the middle of a mud puddle somewhere between Felmley and my dorm and just let the rain soak my clothes. It was absolutely fantastic. Splashing in puddles, making random phonecalls to share the moment, picking lilac. What better way to spend my last night here on campus?

"I'll be down to the 'Field in a couple of weeks. I'll call you, girl."

I absolutely love it. How random. Toga + Goggles = One Uber-Hot Sarah Lou.

I like how everyone up here refers to Springfield as The Field, Springpatch, or if feeling particularly ghetto, The Patch. Like we white kids are ghetto. Psh.

"Am I interrupting something?"

I am rather enjoying the fact that I seem to be in some sort of euphoric state right now.

More people from home have called me in the past week than they have in the past month. Really. You wouldn't think it, but people seem to think I am good at giving advice. It's true. Especially concerning their love lives. Weird. "Sarah, what do you think?" *shrug*

So I did okay on my geology final. Should bring up my grade a bit. I am ready for my history final at 7:50 in the am. I need to finish up this paper...I completely forgot about it until today. I am studying for my psych right now and will continue from the end of my early history final until 1:00 in the afternoon. Then I'm studying hxc for my math final which is at 8:00pm.

Then I'm completely finished with my freshman year of college. How weird is that? It feels like I just moved in yesterday. And I'm moving out on Thursday. It seems so sad, you know? I don't want to leave at all. I do want to go home, but I've had so much fun here. I'm going to miss everyone terribly. I had to say goodbye to a bunch of people at church tonight--it feels like I'll see them next week when I'll really see them in three months. Wowza.

"We've found the answer to your final exam: Jesus!"

Said the sign outside a church we went by on the bus today. I thought it was rather amusing. :D

The start of May has proved to be rather exhausting and entertaining. I haven't felt this rundown in I don't know how long. I know the last few times I've been sick was due to stress and lack of sleep.

This weekend was a lot of fun. Cinco de Maio on Friday, prom on Saturday, and sleep on Sunday.

I took my first final today--totally aced that puppy. I have three more finals, all on Wednesday. I'm coming home on the 5:39 train Thursday night. And yes, Corrie, I am going to the jazz band dance. :)