"Tomorrow would be better. I'll call you."

Okay, so I am pathetic. I completely agree with Eistir. I've been so bummed, you guys. It's not different than any other time.

Last night I drank quite a bit of merlot. I will admit to it. And Jeff and I talked. Obviously, I'm not the most pleased about it. But what are you going to do, right? Not much to be done. So I mope and move on. Or something like that.

Lindsey has this test tomorrow she didn't remember until today so she is taking a later train into Springfield. I'm getting on the 10:29. I am so excited! I can't wait to be home, people. It's going to be so fantastic to see everyone and just relax with some of my girls and boys. Wyatt said he wanted to pee his pants he is so excited. And I talked to Wheats, too. Matt came back so he could come and hang out at home...we're going to see Corpse Bride on Sunday with Lindsey. D-niggie is coming up late on Saturday (he supposed to call me tonight and he didn't?). I tried to coax Scotty into coming home with me but it didn't work.

Speaking of Scott, I realized I didn't have to work tonight so I called him to ask if we could mope around since I wasn't in the greatest of spirits. He was out of his room so I got to talk to his roommate, Dan, who is extremely cute in an emo-sorta way and really easy to talk to. Scott made the comment that Dan was talking to me more than him. And I wrote some notes to him on the board outside the door. Anyway, Scott took me out for Ben and Jerry's and we sat on one of the horseshoes to talk. He let me know some things that I had been wondering about for a while and we talked about Jeff and everything. I truly heart that kid. He's unbelievably fantastic. We went to the Acafellaz show and they were smashing. Geeze, Louise. I about had a heart attack when they started singing an arrangement of Eric Clapton. And the girls group prior to them sang a Beatles song. All I wanted to do was talk to Jeff, but by then, Jeff had told me he couldn't meet and wanted to tomorrow, to which I replied I was leaving in the morning and only wanted ten minutes of his time. Because that is so time-consuming. After Acafellaz, we made it to the opera. Wow, the Mozart was great, and the second piece was cah-razy. I didn't know what to expect and I was completely shocked. Oh, well, we had a really good time. We made it back to his dorm and finished Aladdin and ordered yummy Papa John's, which we ate joyfully. He was kind of mad I had hardly eaten anything at all today. Whatev. Talked to Scott's brother, Steve, for a while and he seems pretty nice--I told him I want to meet the entire family, which is completely true. It would be so much fun.

I got a backrub and sang to and danced around the room a little bit. We had so much fun, and I mean we really did. Our night in. S squared because Scott is a geek and I heart him dearly. I eventually made it back to Atkin, and when I realized Daryl and Eistir were not back yet, I went for a walk. I just wanted to be out in the cold air and think about nothing but the path in front of me. It worked for a while until I got back here.

And I love Matt. I miss him. I miss everyone. But at least he tells me how much he misses me, lol. Plus he tells me he hearts me back. And he listens. At least I know I am loved.

How come I realize I want to talk to someone when it's like 1:30-3:00 in the morning and it's not appropriate to call? I hate that. I will see you in the morning, Mommy...I have to be up in four and one-half hours. Go me. And wish me luck, kiddies.