"Potty humor is not funny."

I had a dream about picking my nose. When I was little, we'd be riding in the red suburban, and I would turn to face the window so I had my nose in the wedge between myself and the window. I would pick my nose behind my hand because I thought no one could see me behind my hand, sometimes I would wipe them on the bottom of the seat, sometimes I would eat them. And Jessie would always say something like, "Sarah, stop picking your nose! THAT IS SO GROSS." Then she and Rachel would make fun of me for it. Lol, I know that is grotesque and necessary, but it makes me laugh a lot, too. Who would hide behind her hand and pretend like no one could see her picking her nose when she knew someone always caught her? Me. I am such an idiot sometimes, heh.

I made Matt all upset last night. Seems like I can do that pretty easily. It makes me so angry, and I can't help it. I can't bring up Megan because he switches to emo-mode and runs away from me to go to the video store or walk Shadow or something. I am breaking his heart all over again for merely mentioning her name. It reminds me of someone from senior year. *shakes head* But at the same time, I tell myself I am happy about me being able to live my life and go out and have fun even though I have made some very regrettable mistakes and miss certain individuals who were at one time everpresent.

I don't want to apologize, even though I feel obligated. I don't want you to feel bad, Matt, but you do no matter what I say or do, regardless if your long lost love is mentioned or not. Always emo, kiddie.

Last night I went to Encounter again with Sarah. We missed Scott, he had volleyball (tryouts, I think...) and was extremely icky and tired by the time he was finished. Tonight while I am at band, the two of them are going to have dinner with some freshmen that have been attending Encounter. The pastor, I guess you could call him, reminds me so much of Brad Claire (sp?) from Crossroads except in older form. It makes me feel extremely comfortable. I talked to Breann a while...I bump into her all over campus. She lives in Walker, same building as Sarah, and she plays French horn in U band with me. She is so happy and that makes me happy.

I talked to both Brian and Kevin yesterday...and Cathy. She and I are meeting behind the band room at 7:00 to go to the football game together. Go, BAND GEEKS! I am way more excited about this weekend because I get to spend some quality time at SnS with those musical buddies of mine after half-time and I get to see Meg on Monday after I spend a good hunk of the weekend in Champaign. I think Kristen would kill me if I stayed at the new apartment. But I like Ben and Mike, they're cool. <3 Plus I hear Ben's slightly crazy when he is intoxicated and I would like to see that...and Mike saying more than two words. I must catch him during his quiet moments. Meh.

I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT GOING HOME. TEHE.

And Sarah and I just had lunch. I had a yummy salad and some hot cafeteria soup, which wasn't as bad as I originally thought. It tasted pretty good, in fact. All right, kiddies, I am off to write a paper that is due on Friday so I have lots of time to goof around tomorrow night. Probably will end up going to something with Sarah and Scott. And Dallas and I need to go to Harvest Bread Co. to get some cinnamon crunch bread. Oooo. Have an excellent evening, my darlings.

"Tralalalala."

Eistir is sickly. Between she and Sarah, I bet I will catch something. Ick. Ick. Ick.

So homework has picked up very steadily. Apparently, I was supposed to memorize a bunch of the periodic table, I remember the professor saying something but I thought he said "familiarize" not "memorize" so I skimmed over the table a couple of times. Whoops. And I have to do some homework and take a shower before my 2:00 chem.

I ran into Tara Driskell, Kaitlin Petersen, and Lindsey (I can't remember her last name...) today on my way back from my math lab. They seemed happy to see me. I just can't imagine spending all my time with people I went to high school with. Granted, I love spending time with them, but when it comes down to it, we are at college, supposed to be spending time with anyone and everyone. (Wow, that sounded snooty.) But I tell you what--if I went to U of I or IC or SIUE or UIS, I'd probably be spending time with my buddies, too. A comfort thing.

I finished my wall, and I am extremely excited. There is almost no white showing, which Eistir thinks is great. I still have not found a place to put my collage and I have yet to put the John Deere lights up...maybe after chemistry. I don't really have anything to do inbetween chemistry and whatever group Sarah, Scott, and I will end up going to so I figure I will just sleep and/or finish up some homework. I have a three-page paper due on Friday I should probably start working on.

<3

PS My life is difficult without a printer. Must buy one this weekend.

"She wanted it in the ass."

Some of the things that come out of Dallas' mouth scare me.

The drive down was quiet. Not necessarily. We sang along with some really awful music from the radio and drove with the windows down on the highway. It seemed long, but D-niggie had a lot further to go than me so I won't complain. Plus I don't think he likes driving by himself. At all. That's usually why I get drug along his little roamings through B-town.

I heart Harvest Bread Co.

Friday I went to Matt's, we ate at KFC. Stopped by Wyatt's to see the new place before seeing Brothers Grimm, which wasn't all that bad. Wheaton came over while we were there...and Steve came home. Wyatt called Matt while I was in the bathroom at showplace because I had left my phone. So we went back to the apartment to get it and Loopy was there, too. We waited until Bekki and Wyatt got back and headed over to Matt's where I got an extremely tasty smoothie. I was excited...and I drank it even though it looked like purple diarrhea. Yummy. :P I was proud of myself for being home slightly before midnight. Go me. I was so freaking huggy that night. Ironically enough, I don't think I hugged Mattie poo once. But I hugged Steve whom I have never hugged before besides the "grasping of his shoulders while sitting next to him in a Denny's booth." And Loopy is just a huge teddy bear, so are Wheatos and Wy. Whatev, muahaha.

Saturday, I woke up to Patty grabbing me as hard as she could at like 5:30 AM. Well, technically, it was a bear hug. But I was completely out of it so it seemed more like grabbing. I missed her. She missed me. She said she was really glad I was home. I concur. I missed everyone a lot, and it's only been a week and a half. Go me. I did my own thing the entire day...sat around, tried to do some homework and pack some, took a long-buttocks shower with no flipflops. Wheatos went to see Corrie! In Jacksonville!! She liked her present, hooray for us picking out a nice gift. Oh, yes, it was her eighteenth birthday--that's half the reason why I wanted to see her. The other half was that I figured I wouldn't see her for a long while. I miss her. Like I miss the rest of my girls. After I dropped Wheaton off at his dad's, I rented The Crow: Death Prayer, which was a waste of money. A dollar, maybe. But definitely not $2.75 for one night. Don't do it!

Yesterday I went to church with Dad, Patty, Rachel, and Kaylin. Oh, boy, I miss that little weiner so much. I almost cried when she had to leave. I love her. You should have seen the look on her face when she saw me on Saturday--I dropped by Bobby's to see her and she dropped everything she was carrying and charged at me then proceeded to throw her entire body at my legs and laughed and yelled, "It's SARAH! I missed you!" It makes me so happy to think she loves me back. God bless her. After church, we ended up going to Grandma's for lunch with Aunt Priscilla, Uncle Paul, and my cousin Kathy. It was fun, and I played with Kaylin the entire time the adults were at the table discussing something about the bank. Granted, I probably would have benefitted from the conversation, but I was having much more fun playing with the weiner. I finished packing and did a little bit more homework. Ate dinner with the 'rents, packed the PLEWIS Mobile to go to Mom's then headed over there. Dallas was much later than first expected but he called to keep me updated so it was all good. Mom and I got through the majority of Evelyn, which was great as far as I watched it, before D-niggie made it to Springfield.

It was late by the time we got back here. I am exhausted. I got maybe four and a half hours of sleep. The ride up was so much better than it was down because we gossiped and I told him all about Mia and how I met Wyatt and everything. Lol, he had assumed Wyatt and I had been lifelong pals or something. Not quite. "You were his friend...girl. You got used." It happens. I don't really care anymore, what's done is done, and we're still all buddy-buddy so what does it matter?

I just went to the bathroom and that's where almost everything is posted. We're getting floor tees. We had to vote on our first choice. They actually didn't look that bad, so I think it'll be okay, and they're cheap so we're all good. The homies are planning on making Fourth Floor Whore t-shirts. Yes. I'm excited about that. Heh.

All right, I am headed towards some homework and some napping, but I have to unpack first, which shall take forever. Later, folks. :)

"Oxygen bonds like a mothah."

I love chemistry so much now.

I don't necessarily feel like writing, but I am aware that I will not be updating until at least Sunday because I am leaving at approx. 12:30 tomorrow for Springfield. I hope I get everything done on my list. It's Corrie's birthday tomorrow!

Hope my only faithful reader gets to see me and has an excellent weekend. :D

"Well, this is a box, not a bag, as any of you can see."

Okay, so I liked giving my extremely short informative speech in communications, told a little bit about myself. One guy was creative enough to bring a lightbulb. "I'm generally a shy guy, but when I get to know people, I lighten up." I thought it was funny.

I accidentally missed my math class...I need to email the professor and ask if there was any homework. It's just so embarassing. God. I don't want to be like that at all.

So when I came home last night I was just so happy. I had an excellent time with Scott and Sarah. Next time we're claiming a couch. We had to sit on the floor and I think all our butts went numb at some point...plus it was awkward because three of us were sitting in a space that should have been meant for two people, lol. The message was good and I had so much fun singing. I miss it so much.

It's so unbelievably cold in my room all the time. I'm really glad I found my "Not Guilty" hoodie. It's all warm and fuzzy. I definitely have to bring the rest of my hoodies back with me. Want to hear my list of things I need to do when I got home? Of course you do.

• See Corrie and Mia before they leave and Matt if he get homes before I leave.
• Deposit all four checks I will have waiting.
• Pay the phone bill.
• Get my coat from Burlington Coat Factory.
• Do assignments due Monday.
• Celebrate Corrie's birthday.
• Buy a graphing calculator.
• Buy printer and ink.
• Grab my CDs, stereo, glasses, contacts, desk lamp, TV stand, trash can and bags, paper towels, napkins, school supplies, posters, pictures, dictionary, umbrella, flashlight, and bathrobe.
• Bake Dallas cookies. My specialty, lol, and he demands we name them "Dallas cookies." Whatev.
• Get the rest of my clothes.
• Go to church.
• Give Jessie Rae a hug.

Well, so maybe that isn't a heck of a lot. I can do that all the buying, bills, paychecks, and packing forgotten things on Friday since I am going to be back so early. I am really happy I get to go home early, you journal, you. Does that seem ridiculous? I miss everyone. But I am really start to enjoy myself here. And I know for a fact I will not be able to come home hardly at all until Christmas. That makes me extremely nervous and, in fact, makes me wish I had decided to just stick to a school job with quite a bit fewer hours. This way I'll have plenty of money, though, and I won't need two jobs this coming summer...I don't know how the job situation will work then but I have until April to start considering the situation seriously. I'm really going to need a car.

I have choir at 4:00 and band at 7:00. My first rehearsal!! How exciting, huh? Now I need to go do some homework. Love you, my darling notebook.

"WTF!"

Okay, so my interview went very well. I start work in approx. two weeks. I can't request off work from Oct. 1 until Christmas so I won't be home for a long, long while. I might possibly get Thanksgiving off and Sear's is closed for Christmas so I'll be home then. Tracy, the manager, said that if I wanted to take the rest of my break off after Christmas I could. This means I have to check up on the bus schedules and possibly consider bringing the PLEWIS Mobile or some other form of transportation up so that I can work.

Dallas and I walked around the mall for a bit. He got some stuff and Bath & Bodyworks and I made fun of him, lol. We got some tasty nibblers at Mrs. Fields, then we stopped by this bread store across from the mall so he could get a slice and a spinach something-or-other. When he brought me back, I chilled with Nicole for a while and everyone came into our room after a bit. We're trying to get a water balloon fight set up against some of the guys from Colby out on the quads. It'll be freaking awesome. And the rest of the girls are going out partying on Thursday night since, of course, that's when all the drinking starts, but I doubt I'll be going with them since I have an 8:00 Friday.

I'm excited about chem. I made a friend on the way in, Ashley, and I guess she and Sarah Dillon (from preview) went to hs together so we sat with Sarah, her roommate, and Scott (from preview). It was a lot of fun, I really like the professor. Seems extremely cool. LADIES AND GENTS--I believe I have found that professor I will some day marry (just kidding).

We ran around Atkin and Colby, squirting anyone who would answer the door when we knocked or who had his or her (mainly his') door open. One guy ran after us and I think we have adopted him. His name is John, he's a sophomore from Colby 4. He sat with us in our room for a long while before he headed out to get his Family Guy Movie he just dled. I guess they're going to watch some of it before everyone gathers to watch the Real World in Michele and Kristi's room. I might join them, we'll see...I really need to get some reading in before I go.

And Sarah just called and wants me to go with her and Scott to Encounter, which is a Christian program. I feel bad for my lack of attendance at church, so I think I should really go...meeting her at 8:30.

Dallas' floor meeting starts at 8:00 so I'll see him later, more than likely. I will catch you later, my little dreamboat, you. I love you, little notebook and little diary. You are fantastic."

"I'm charging my phone so I can talk to you."

Well, we were online, so I didn't see why it made sense to waste phone minutes while we were online. Hey, whatev.

I bought my music, and I have already sung two of the pieces, "The Awakening" and "Everlasting Melody." But I must say that I think I should practiced over the summer or something because I was screwing up left and right. I felt like one of those kids that sits in the back and sings along, mumbling, with the rest of the weak singers. I hate that. With my trombone, I would expect it. Singing? Hell no. I think the smoking has permanently damaged my voice, and I am not even joking. That just makes me so freaking angry. If I stay like this, there is no way I will have enough self-respect to continue into next semester. What bull.

I'm not sure how I feel about the director. Everyone loves and seems extremely nice. But reminds me a lot of Mrs. Jones. And not all of his smiles are completely sincere so that throws me off quite a bit. I'm sure I'll love him eventually, we'll just have to see what happens.

Alas, I think I am getting a cold or something. It feels like winter in our room which is all hunky dory when you've been outside and just walk in but it's freezing if you're in here for more than five minutes. I have stuff in the back of my throat that makes me cough a lot and I have a runny nose. I don't want to be sick my first week of school.

Dallas and I had dinner at Southside and walked it up to my room. The TV power button mysteriously does not work anymore so we have to wait for the remote when Eistir goes home. We sat around and talked for a while. And he left to go play tennis.

Last night I didn't really feeling up to doing anything so I just read. I'm becoming so boring. I talked to Alison and Kristen, and I told Kristen that I needed to click with someone. Anyone. Just so I have someone to pal around with on campus...or learn to feel okay with doing stuff by myself. But that's a problem because I have NEVER been a loner. I am the one who has endless amounts of friends to find something to do with. At least I did at home. And wow, did that sound like I have a big head or what. Believe me, you'll get over it. Alison wants to bring some U of I-ans from her study this summer to come visit me, and that just makes me a very happy camper. They were so nice!

Well, I think that's the news for today. Class in forty-five minutes. And chemistry later at 2:00. w00t. That should be a fun class because there were a lot of people from my preview group in it...and in my choir class too. *hug self to keep warm* Have a nice day.

"Niggie, please."

I love talking to Dallas on the phone, he makes me laugh.

So I went to get pizza at Chatter's last night with another neighbor, Ashlei, and I ran into Jeremy something-or-other from Glenwood. He graduated a couple years ahead of me and was referred to as "Duct Tape Boy." Apparently, he's joined the army so he's lost a lot of weight and looks like a skinhead. And is way stranger than I remember, but hey, strange isn't necessarily bad. Well, he kind of weirded me out and so Ashlei and I made our way back to the dorm asap, glad we got it to go.

I was all happy eating my pizza on my bed and drinking my raspberry lemonade and watching FUSE--at least until the hiphop came on and then I turned it off. Shortly thereafter, Dallas called so I walked to Watterson. We got him partially moved in and headed to Wal-Mart where I bought so of those sticky hooks you put on the wall so we could hang up the sign on our day. We'd been using duct tape and it kept falling off. That and grape soda. Mmm.mmm. We got Dallas a lightbulb for his budweiser beer can lamp. We moved him in the rest of the way. There was a guy on the phone the entire time we were moving him in and I guess Dallas' ex-fling lives on the same floor which is just a gas. We came back here so he could see the room...and then he left and I read and got into bed.

This morning my alarm went off at 7:15 but I was a dumbass and shut it off so I didn't wake up until 7:48 which meant I had to haul ass to class, was slightly tardy, which was a HUGE mistake because our seats for today are going to be our permanent seats. Ick. I am all the way in the fucking boonies since we're in a lecture hall. And Individuals, Society, and Justice is also in a lecture hall. Hundreds of kids in that room from every year. And it was just uncomfortable because the only seats left were in the center of rows so you had to climb over a bazillion people to get to an empty seat. Right after that was communications. We have homework. And I have to give an informal speech on Wednesday--I have to bring a bag and three items that have a personal meaning to explain to everyone. Sounds like a good time. Since then, I have watched some really old GSN shows, read, dozed, and eaten a fantastic lunch from Southside, which is the cafeteria area inbetween Atkin-Colby and Hamilton-Whitten.

I'm having a lot of fun, but I am just not sure how I am going to like this 8:00 every morning except Tuesday which is 9:35. Whatev.

Dallas and I are going to meet up before choir and I have to buy my music in the lobby today before class...yes. That is it. Have a wonderful afternoon, I shall speak with thee at a later date. <3

"Freeze, it's the cops, get on the fucking ground!"

This is after I had dozed for a minute or two when Eistir got home. I hop out of bed and we look out the window to see what's going on. In the end, there were three cop cars, four cops on bicycles and a couple of undercover cops that were running around trying to catch these two guys who had taken off. One got caught, one got away. Two girls were hugging each other on the ground, just sobbing. We couldn't hear anything even after we opened our windows. And ambulance showed up and the girls got into it. At first, before the ambulance, we thought it was a busted party, but after it had arrived, I thought maybe a date rape or something along those lines. I guess we'll find out at the floor meeting tonight.

I am supposed to help Dallas move in...I think I am going out for a walk in a while. Eistir woke up not too long ago to go have a smoke and head to Wal-Mart with some of her buddies.

Mia called about 1:00 and woke me up. I talked to her for a little bit then I talked to Dad and Patty about things. Apparently, I have a lot of mail floating aorund the house now. I have like three paychecks I need to deposit plus some money from the state. I am glad because I have like $40 left in my checking account. I need to pay my phone bill and all that jazz. I want to get the rest of my stuff! Geeze.

I'm going for my walk now...and I need to get some school supplies down at the alamo.

"Oh, God, I think I am going to puke."

Let's go over my evening. I gave a very loud, sickenly detailed encounter to Wyatt after I talked to Dallas and all that jazz.

Basically, I met Nicole and Anna from next door. I like them a lot, they reminded me of some people that might go to Glenwood. So we hung out for a while after I read...we left at 8:30 or so to go to this party of Nicole's friend. Keep in my mind by this time we'd all had a beer (and I could barely keep my down...I spit up a lot of foam and that is just disgusting) and had no idea where the apartment was so we ended up walking fifteen blocks or so. None of us really knew any of the guys at the party except Nicole knowing Jordan. We got quasi-introduced to some of them. Nicole kept downing them and Anna had another one before calling it quits since she felt ill. We eventually make our way to the party a couple of doors down but they don't allow smoking inside so I sit outside with Nicole and Anna as they puff away. Greg who was the most friendly out of the guys we'd met at Jordan's came outside and chilled with us as I text'd Matt. We started talking about music which somehow lead to the state fair venue and the discussion of hometowns. The kid is from Springfield and knew Matt, so I called to discuss it and Greg talked to him for a good long while. I found it rather entertaining. He kept calling him "B-cup" when he'd hung up. Whatever. Nicole puked outside then got up and bought a glass for the keg. Greg walked Anna and I back to the apartment so we could say our byes and everything. The two of us walked back because Anna felt very sick and I didn't give a fuck what we did. And there was no fucking way that Nicole was going to make it back by herself after all the beers she'd downed. I feel lightheaded but not buzzed. And sick. I never want to drink beer again. God, it's so fucking repulsive.

Talked to Wyatt and Dallas. Poor Wyatt, I've lost track of how many times I've talked to him in the past few days. I called Dallas' cell for the billionth time only for his girlfriend to pick up and act semi-snotty to me for having a vagina and calling her boyfriend. Whatev. He called me back later to see what was up...needless to say, I will not be making it home this weekend. He's not even going to be up here until 3-ish tomorrow. Between 3:00 and 5:00. He wants me to help me to move in to Watterson. What a bitch, I mean the moving part. That is going to suck hardxcore. The elevator stops every three floors --I hope he's on an elevator floor.

That was my delightful evening. Filled with beer foam and sick stomachs. I'm going to go get something to calm my stomach. Good night, kiddies.

"Like pouring rain..."

Eistir is talking to her mom this morning. She came in at 2:30 and accidentally woke me up then woke me up when she came in again at 7:30. When she went to take a shower, I fell back asleep and didn't get up until about 9:30, and believe you me, it was an extremely difficult task.

We were supposed to go to a "diversity" something-or-other meeting, but we decided not to attend. All the meetings I've been to so far have rather pointless. And I haven't gone to any of the recommended shit, meh. Oh, well.

I called Bekki last night to check up on the moving. It went well, I guess...Bekki gave me Cara's phone number to get a loft. we'll see what happens there. But they moved in okay, and hopefully, they'll get unpacked all right. I wish Dallas would call me so we can make plans for tonight. I want to get drunk, but we'll see how that one ends up.

[Edit--time 2:10pm]

I went to lunch at Watterson with Eistir and her friend Madeline. I took my shower, and soon I'll have to go to my tech start thingy. Eistir went to hers yesterday and told me it was completely pointless. I'll take her word for it but I'll have to find out for myself since it's required. Hooray.

I still cannot get a hold of Dallas. Jesus H. I'm bored anymore, but I want to know when we're fucking leaving. And I can tell you this much, I am not acting at all like I normally do. I'm surrounded by people I don't know and it's all a little frightening. At least the majority of my friends went to a school with another one of their friends, me I'm all by myself. I am coming to terms with it. A girl from preview is two doors down. And Jessica goes here, so I guess that is on some sort of comfort level. Eistir is extremely talkative and outgoing and makes friends in the lunch line, like today. Why am I not doing that? Somehow, I feel that there should only be allowed one person per room like that and since she's so good at it, I stand on the sidelines and watch. I'll give this to her, she definitely has people skills. She's going to hate Dallas, though. He's one of those semi-uninformed republicans, or maybe not, I could be wrong. I guess we'll see.

I am in such a down-type mood, I need to go for a walk or something. Bye.

"Take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one I got."

So obviously, I am one bored Sarah Lou. My fourth entry today, though the two before one o'clock this morning were more like yesterday's posts. I slept until about 5:30. Yeah, didn't get much reading in, maybe a few chapters. I've been doing a little bit of everything, trying to adjust to the laptop and it just pissed me off. Damn, I wish Dallas would call already. I've been listening to Gym Class Heroes a lot today. Eistir likes them...

we even got a secret handshakeand
she loves the music that my band makes
i know i'm young but if i had to choose her or the sun
i'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

I love this song. I can't get it off my mind. Gah.

"Eistir, wake up!"

Damn, she is still asleep. We were supposed to go to a departmental meeting this morning and then the convocation. I tried to wake her up on numerous occasions, but she has slept. It started at 9:30. And now it's almost 12:30. Still out. She cracks me up.

So I have had some time to breathe and some time to sleep, which always does me good. My bed is extremely comfortable. w00t. I slept very well and it was freezing in here last night so i had to bundle up, which is just how the both of us like it. And I slept with Spot. He made me feel better, too. I got up and did my thing and ate some cereal. I like this having all my shit together and not having to deal with my parents in the morning...even while they were on vacation, I was still in there home and under some of their restraints, so now I feel some freedom coming on.

Right now I should probably be down in the quads eating the free food and meeting new people, but I am exhausted. My arms are all weak now because I carried my books all the way across campus from Bone to Atkin, and I got semi-lost along the way so I had to make a detour. Well, I thought I knew where I was going, but you get to my dorm from the Visual Center for the Arts building unless you walk all the way around it....bleh. I am so disoriented. I think I'll walk around later and find out where my classes are so that's taken care of. (By the way, nearly $450 on books. Geeze, Louise).

I pulled out my Holly Black book to start reading and realized that I didn't buy Valiant I bought Tithe. I read the first couple of chapters and flipped the pages in a perplexed fashion. Deja vu. Wonder why. Perhaps it's because I already read it. Oh, well, just means I have to buy it at some point. I can't decide if I want to read or take a nap, my arms are being so ridiculous, we'll see what hapens. But for now, I shall crawl into bed and decide momentarily.

"Be a happy, happy, happy kid!"

All I've been doing is hanging out with Matt, except Tuesday. And I hadn't planned on spending a lot of time with yesterday, but that's how it worked out. He picked me up at Mom's a little bfore midnight to take me to tacobell and finish Greg the Bunny. I came home and went to bed.

I need a second to chill. Nothing can be helped. I need to grow up.

My internet is finally set up, it took long enough. Eistir, my roommate, worked on it for quite a long time. She's extremely cool. Coolcoolcool. We get along really well. :) I am really excited. She kind of just got thrown onto this floor last minute...she's from Libertyville, which is north of Chicago. She makes me laugh and very much reminds me of my sister's friend, Megan Rigoni.

Anywho. We're all good. We met some pals down the hall already, I think I'll set up my facebook up after that. Maybe not. I am going to bed...I am tired and I just don't want to write anymore.

"That deserves a pound."

No, you can't. And it'll only be awkward if you make it that way.

I didn't tell you to cut off Megan because I want to replace it. Far from it. Why the hell would I want to do that? Never in my wildest dreams. I just gave you some advice I've given to more than one person in the past. I even did it. I cut off Brian completely. It was the only fucking way I could get over him. God, I mean, it still fucking hurts to talk about him, I don't even want to now, so I'll stop. No, I won't. I loved that kid with all my hurt. And I left him. I just left him behind with a fucking broken heart and ripped mine into a tiny million pieces along the way. People act okay to mask their fears and mistakes, I acted perky to try to forget what a horrible thing I had to do, give something up that I cared more about than anything else in the world. I just gave him up. Do you know how fucking hard that was? No, you don't. You don't. I did what was best for the both of us, I tried to forget and move on. Has it worked? Yeah, to a certain extent, but that hurt is always there, that pain I never seem to get rid of floating around in the back of my mind.

And, no, I wasn't that hurt when you told me no. I will get over it like everything else. Like everything else. And I do want to be friends, because regardless of what I have said or not said, a slight rejection is a slight thing to end a friendship over.

You emo kid. How was that for an update?

"You're the most normal person I've ever dated."

Yep. That's right. Cuz your normal and we're dating. Meh.

Last night was a lot of fun...I got to spend time with Wyatt and Matt and they got along well. Katie was quiet as normal, Kristen and Cathy were chatty with Rach. It was just good. We walked around following the parade that never ended. Damn. I am not even joking. It went on for like three hours. CRAZY! I've never seen a parade that long before in my life. At least we got some yummy food and strawberry shake-ups. Oh, so tasty. I always get them, and there's only one stand worth going to for them, though I know there are a few. Hooray for an excellent fair time. Afterwards, Matt drove Rachel and I back to his house where the PLEWIS Mobile resided. The long way, which was fun.

I feel that even though Matt and I haven't been hanging out forever and a day I still know him, or at least the other way around. I think he remembers every word I say or something. Weird but cool...I'm used to the I-don't-remember-anything-sorry-Sarah. It's a very nice change of pace.

All right, now that I've added my litle emotional bit for today, I think I'm going to head out. I'm on my mom's dial-up and it's EXTREMELY slow. I want to get my tat. We'll see, though....I have to meet everyone at Applebee's for our girls' night out with Nonn at six, and it's now eleven. And I need to go home and get some clean clothes.

Have a delictable evening, folks.

"Wow, this will be awkward."

Muahaha. That's all I have to say.

Except not really because what kind of post would that make? I am currently residing in the Chatham Public Library, click, click, clicking away on this DELL keyboard. Yup. And Rachel is with me.

My mother called me at SPS earlier and asked if I could basically baby-sit Rachel and take her to the parade with me. That and then I have to spend the night with her at Mom's so no one sneaks in the middle of the night to rape the Rachel and pillage the Prairie Sky Farm. I am an amusing kid tonight, at least to myself I am. Another "muahahaha!" is deserved right there.

Parade. Hooray! Parade. Hurrah! Parade. Huzzah!!! Obviously, I am excited. I'm going with Matt, Rach, Wyatt (I guess), Katie, Cathy, and Kristen. It shall be a delightful evening filled with glorious fair food. Good ol' time, if you ask me. I guess Megan told Matt that she was thinking about going, but when I talked to her last on Monday night, I thought she didn't give me a decisive answer then kind of blew me off so I invited him. Wouldn't want to make a situation awkward, now would we? Nope. Yeah, so either I was correct or I made that up completely and heard what I wanted. Either way, I come off as an asshole. I guess. Who the fuck cares anyway?

Yesterday, I hung out with Rachel and Jessie. We had lunch with Grandma, Kathy (my cousin), Aunt Mae at Chesapeake Seafood. Yumyum, except not. We proceeded to drop Aunt Mae at her crib and scared the crap out of her dog, Spike, which was a lot better than his normal amount of yippage. I got to see Jessie's new apartment and it definitely fits her personality...a total Jessie space. Very nice, I liked it much. I made it to Matt's house in one piece, lol, and we went to Luca even though I wasn't hungry. My mouth was on fire a good hour. We headed to BnN to kill time and I bought books, a collection of Jane Austen books and Valiant because I liked Tithe so much (Meg, you can borrow it when I get done reading it). We went to see The Island. There was a part where skin was being pulled by this claw thing that came out of a gun that was similar to a harpoon thingy. Damn, it grossed me out! *shudder* Afterwards, we headed back to his place, like usual, and almost fell asleep on numerous occasions because I was so effing tired. We checked out pictures and he tried to make me laugh but most of the time he just got a feeble smile from this tired being. "You're always tired! Get some sleep, woman." Whatevah. I made it home okay without dying, so that's good. And I did manage to have myself some tasty chocolate cake before falling asleep on my couch.

Today? I worked. I had a family full of redheads and it made me happy. Four redheaded kids and one redheaded mom. The little baby, Cooper, was adorable and spit up on my shirt when his mother asked me to feed him while she took the rest of them to the bathroom. Aww. Except now my shirt is kind of gross, but I'll wash it and get over it. Meh. Cute babies. I want them, lots and lots. Just not anytime soon.

Hooray, hurrah, huzzah, it's fair time, kiddies. <3

"Oh, my God!"

I just said that in a very Matt-ish way. It was rather amusing.

You know what else is amusing? The way that Bobby said Darryl was a cool kid. I mentioned that he is moving in with Wyatt, Bekki, and Steve, and I got a "Oh, yeah, I know who he is. He's a cool kid." Haha. Fuh-nee.

My hair now has copper highlights. Go me. Katie didn't have time to cut it before classes this afternoon, so I'm going in tomorrow morning to get it cut and styled, then I'm going out to lunch with Rachel, Jessie, Aunt Mae, and Grandma. Grandma is all panick-y since her realization that I am leaving in nine days. *-bam-* I'm gone.

All I've been doing lately is pulling my crap together, working, and spending late nights with Matt. Last night I thought, damn, I like how it can be 1:00AM and I don't even notice...then I'll ask the time and it's already 2:30AM. It's weird, but I enjoy it.

Matt and I are going to see The Island tomorrow and eat Luca. Yum. Cathy, Kristen, Katie, Matt, and I are going to the Twilight Parade on Thursday. ISF time. *happy dance* ISF=Illinois State Fair. We fair geekies abbreviate it like that. Booyah. And Mia comes home on Friday...and I'm going to get my tat on Friday, as long as I don't whimp out. This week just keeps getting better and better.

Blahblahblah.

And I feel uber emo right now. I've been so damn moody, especially around three people in particular. Geeze. It sucks, and at the same time, I don't care enough to change it.

Okay, so now that I've said that...I've changed a lot in the past three months. My attitude especially. It's constantly changing. I'm getting more bitter and holding grudges longers and spending less money and seeingn fewer people. Emo. *cough* Except my heart isn't broken. I've gotten over that one already.

Have a delightful evening.

Gotta be back in half an hour.

I can't stay long, I have to go home now.

Dad and Patty are leaving for twelve days, basking in the glow of the Daytona sun, though it's no different from the one in New Berlin. I have the house to myself...and the animals. I think I want to stay home a good hunk of the near-two weeks. And with Rachel.

My last day of work? Soon. Less than two weeks. Not even a week and one-half. Soon.

I was an ass to Wy last night. I text'd him today and said, "Vacation's over." After a brief explanation, I think he understood.

I'm getting to the point where I am very confused, but it's not like it doesn't happen often anyway.

I love you, darling.