Friday, March 30, 2007

"Drowning my sorrows, but my sorrows, they learned to swim."

I bought a small box of Crunch 'n Munch for $0.79 at Meijer. Get this: I bought a pint of strawberry ice cream, four boxes of mac 'n cheese, and a box of Crunch 'n Munch for the grand total of $3.79. How is this possible, you ask. I have no idea...this caramely popcorn and peanut combination is very addicting.

Today was an excellent day. I woke up late because I didn't have class until 11, finished writing a paper that was due at 2. I looked really cute, too. After psych, I came back and instead of the RAs having in-service we got to go to Chuck E. Cheese. It was a blast! Afterwards, I had to go to an extremely long ISRAA meeting...but they had breakfast for dinner so it was okay. Wrote a letter for an overseas soldier at this table some RAs had set up in the dining center. Headed back to my room for maybe half an hour when I get a phone call from an RA from Atkin saying that I needed to go this Mocktail party in my building, so I figured I'd attend long enough to get my drink then duck out. There ended up being a jazz combo and several of my friends showed up that were filming something for the bi-weekly news so I stayed to help out. Basically, it just ended up being these "news casters" and a group of RAs from South-Central campus. But we danced and schmoozed and whatnot. I left so I could go to small group, which was different than normal--we went to a playground and played and talked then headed to Meijer and back to Breanna's apartment. I loved it...we had some major girlie time and talked about boys and other things that girls do. I didn't get back from Breanna's until close to 12:30.

It is such a refresher to remember that I have such fantastic friends. They surprise me at times and I rather enjoy it.


PS I'll be home in another week.

Monday, March 26, 2007

"You should die before your dreams do."

I couldn't sleep so I figured I would write another entry for y'all. I was in bed for a long time with the lights, but I was thinking about too much. So I emailed a professor, googled a movie I found while flipping through HBO, wanted to start working on a paper then decided against it, read a few chapters out of Frankenstein, ended up back on the journal.

Ashley and I are going to start jogging tomorrow night. I am tired of feeling so lethargic and wanting to sleep all the time. I really would sleep forever if I didn't have people waking me up. I only woke up at 3:30 yesterday afternoon because someone called me.

Six more weeks of class and one week of finals...then I'll be home for the summer. Can you believe it? I can't. That is really not that far away. I just went through my day book and looked at my schedule...presentations, papers, tests, and I'm busy every single weekend until move out. I'll be home for Easter weekend and the weekend before finals. I can't believe every weekend is busy with something...I'll admit that I kind of like it. That means it will pass quickly.

Oh, and I thought I should let you know that Lincoln Land accepted me into their great establishment so I will be able to take summer classes. Didn't think I wasn't going to get in, but you never know...

Does anyone know when the Jazz Band Dance is? I would hate to miss it this year...the first in a very long time. And when is graduation?

"This is the day your life will surely change."

Have any of you seen the M&M commercial that says to find your inner M&M? Well, I have. I recognized the song from the ending of Empire Records, so naturally I check it out because I was bored and had to remain in my room (on duty again).

"This is the Day" by The The

Well, you didn't wake up this morning because you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off
You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days

You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place

You could've done anything
If you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never seeIs when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together ... like glue

You pull back your curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place

This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change
This is the day your life will surely change

Friday, March 23, 2007

Babel

It's amazing how one decision can affect the rest of your life. A decision to go on vacation or to go home or to have sex or to have a shooting competition. All could result in the loss of a life, all could result in prejudices, all could result in tragedy. But even through the pain of injury, the confusion of being deserted, the black cloud surrounding death, and the fatal consequences of what you think is a simple game, you can see the light. You have persevered and made it through the darkness in the hopes for something better. You're going to live. You are going to make it through another day and be able to tell people down the line that you are a survivor. And everyone is connected through all of it. You're never alone...

I could be connected to some child in Africa who is starving or some rice farmer in Thailand.

When something like this is put in front of me, I wonder about fatism. Does it exist? How could you not believe that everything has a purpose? We're not just floating on clouds, waiting to drop from the sky. Every decision you have has consequences.

And it's time for me to start making some drastic decisions myself.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

"I have a confession to make..."

Such dramatic words.

I don't really have a confession...although I have read my past few entries and have decided that I write exactly as I sound and feel most of the time--overly bubbly. Geeze, is it annoying. Is this supposed to be one of my endearing qualities? I guess so, lol.

It was absolutely gorgeous outside today. I went to all of my classes for the first time this week. My sore throat has turned into some massive nasal congestion. I think I'll head over to student health services tomorrow because the cold and because I was scratching my shin with the heal of my shoe and I managed to rip some skin off and cause some bruising. Only me, right? Anyway, my legs just about as bad as Jessie's right now: very white and bruised. Back to the weather, I enjoyed it immensely. I've had my windows open all day and my fan going. I even walked around without my coat today it was warm enough.

I'll be home in two weeks for Easter. And I had to request the following weekend off for Relay 4 Life. I'm very excited about it...our team is pretty big but we'll have a blast. Lol, as Andrew says, "It's just an excuse for students to camp out on the quad for the night." Our theme is Rock 4 the Cure and we're going to be the cool kids playing all the old rock stuff from the '60s on.

"I have a confession to make..."

Such dramatic words.

I don't really have a confession...although I have read my past few entries and have decided that I write exactly as I sound and feel most of the time--overly bubbly. Geeze, is it annoying. Is this supposed to be one of my endearing qualities? I guess so, lol.

It was absolutely gorgeous outside today. I went to all of my classes for the first time this week. My sore throat has turned into some massive nasal congestion. I think I'll head over to student health services tomorrow because the cold and because I was scratching my shin with the heal of my shoe and I managed to rip some skin off and cause some bruising. Only me, right? Anyway, my legs just about as bad as Jessie's right now: very white and bruised. Back to the weather, I enjoyed it immensely. I've had my windows open all day and my fan going. I even walked around without my coat today it was warm enough.

I'll be home in two weeks for Easter. And I had to request the following weekend off for Relay 4 Life. I'm very excited about it...our team is pretty big but we'll have a blast. Lol, as Andrew says, "It's just an excuse for students to camp out on the quad for the night." Our theme is Rock 4 the Cure and we're going to be the cool kids playing all the old rock stuff from the '60s on.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

"Come to the Hotel California?"

I'm listening to an amazing reggae album Kyle burned for me. I want to stand on my bed and groove out but I will refrain. He also introduced me to Pandora which is a really cool music site which doesn't requiring downloading any software or anything.

So the last few days have been amazing! I've seen many people this weekend that I haven't seen in ages. Some people I haven't seen since graduation--can you believe it? Nearly two years...I will post pictures on photobucket very shortly so everyone can see (I already have some up on myspace.).

Thursday I went over to Wyatt's and hung out with he and his lovely. Friday I got back home after a little adventure with the two of them...Jessie and Will came up. We went to D'Arcy's and no one wanted their picture taken. Met my girls at Perkin's for Cathy's birthday. We hung out there for a while and then afterwards I headed over to Adam's to watch Borat. I didn't end up getting back to Mom's until close to 4:30 in the morning...got up and did some parading, had some corned beef and cabbage. Went to Olive Garden to meet a bunch of people for Lynlea's birthday...had dinner with Jessie, Will, Brian, Megan, and Rachel at Amberjack's. Crazy hostess/owner had a shamrock cape on! And Kyle came over. He's one of those people I haven't seen in forever...I miss hanging out with my buddies from high school. You don't really think about what you're missing until you catch a glimpse of it.

And I think I caught a bug or something. My throat is killing me like no other. Have a fantastic day, kiddies. I am glad I came back from break with such a positive attitude.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

"I'm never alone. I'm alone all the time."

I love my myspace profile song. You know what my favorite shower song is? "Last Train Home" by Lost Prophets...it's perfect to hop around and sing at the top of your lungs, though sometimes I am afraid I might fall and hurt myself. Afterall, the shower is a very slippery place.

Chewy is sleeping with me tonight. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. For some reason, I don't like to cuddle with people when I'm trying to sleep but inanimate objects, such as pillows and stuffed animals, and dogs are perfectly fine. And dogs smell as nice as people. *shrug*

I can't sleep. It's nearly 4:00 in the am. I am going to lunch with Grandma today, which I am excited about. Because it's Olive Garden and because I'm going to look nice.

You know what other song I like? "The Distance" by Cake. It makes me think of Jessie when she was a freshman in high school and she wore her funky polyester pants and her vans. Yeah, she was all badass ska, which is so funny. And it makes me think about driving the Blazer. Going down the highway with the windows down, the sun in my face, and the music up way too loud. I love to drive for no reason. I like having to wear sunglasses and having nasty windblown locks that would more easily be made into dreads than combing it out.

I love Springfield. And I think I love it more because I'm only visiting right now. I like that I grew up in the middle of nowhere, that I know what muddin' is, that I could replace a spare if I needed to, that I go for a jog and end up running away from woodland creatures, that I can enjoy both whiny country and whiny emo music, that I am interested in the Lincoln sites, that I actually know where things are located below I-80, that I have a weird accent, that I've been to St. Louis besides on a fieldtrip, that I know what a horseshoe is, that I would rather take back roads instead of the interstate, that I know how cute baby calves are, that I enjoy a good glass of wine but still want a beer twenty minutes later, that I am German descent just like everyone else in New Berlin, that I get to go both to the county fair and the state fair.

I am so excited about graduating. It's not that far off really. I've only got three more semesters of classes after this spring. I'm going to try to find a job around here...me, the homebody back in the Patch. I have so many friends who are trying to get out but they don't think they can. I can't wait to make it back in my own place with a real job. That doesn't make me a loser either. Nope. I'm just glad that I know what I want--not a lot of people can say that.

Sorry for the ADD. After I listen to some more Cake, I'm headed for bed. I really need to get some sleep. I hope all of you have a delightful day/evening. <3

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"Do you want me to come pick you up?"

Spring break. Not bad at all. It's kind of frustrating not having a car but it's not the end of the world...and Bobby Joe needs it more than me anyway. Rachel and I hung out all day on Saturday and did our girl thing. Walked around downtown, got a manicure and our eyebrows waxed, did some thorough window shopping, grabbed some movies to watch. Sunday was awesome because Dad made pancakes and I slept forever and a day.

Monday Bekki picked me up and we went to eat at Chili's, walked around downtown and got some Cold Stone. The two of us are quite the duo...I don't think I realize how much I miss her until I finally get to see her--I hadn't seen her since before her birthday in December. That's a very long time to go without Bekki.

Yesterday I ran some errands, saw 300 with Loopy, Wheats, and their friend Sam. I gotta say that I love going out with those boys because they always end up paying for everything--that's not the only reason I like them, lol. I haven't had boys pay for my stuff in a long while so it's great to have two of my male friends who have nothing else to blow their money on besides paying for my movie tickets and chocolate. One of my friends (Stephanie) from school who is from Decatur drove to Springfield yesterday to have dinner with me. I was absolutely thrilled! I took her for her first Cozy Dog visit and she really loved it. Afterwards, we made a trip to the mall so she could grab some khakis or something. When I got home, Mom said it was too late for Rachel to drive me back to Dad's so Wyatt picked me up and we headed out to Wings to see Bekki while she was at work. Being with the two of them is fantastic. I really miss seeing them and the rest of the Tri-City group--yeah, I hang out with Wheaton and Loopy but that it's not the same. I got an application for Wings which would be a fun job over the summer (I'd get to waitress which means tips!). After a music-blaring and singing-as-loud-as-we-could drive back from the east side of town, I had a talk with a buddy so he decided to come over. We watched part of Donnie Darko and talked about some things that just needed to be talked about.


I'm not tired of boys--I am tired of the way I react to them. I try to be me at all times, but everyone changes their attitudes around certain people. You know you do just as I know I do. You act differently around your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, acquaintence, church buddy, coworker. You slightly modify your attitude; you choose your words a little more carefully around certain people. Everyone does it. I just hate that I do it moreso around certain people than I do with others. How can I be my true self when I feel the need to modify my behavior in front someone? I can't.

I don't want someone to get to know the wrong me. I want them to know the me Ashley, Bekki, Kristen, and Stephanie do. The open fart policy, the belching, the homework, the ex's, the other friends...they're the only people I am really willing to cry in front of besides Rachel and my parents. I'm not saying I want to be best friends with everyone. Nope, not at all. I just wish I could be a little more open with more people.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Good News!

So yesterday I turned in this application on a whim thinking it sounded like a good idea...

ISRAA is a statewide organization for RAs and they have conferences every year. This year ISU is putting in a bid for the conference so RAs needed to apply for committee chairs by this week. I applied to be the Volunteer Chair, and I got it! So if ISU wins the bid for the conference next year, I get to head a committee for the conference, which is a big deal. Hooray!!!!!!

"I don't want to work out."

Look like it's not going to happen today. Neither Ashley or myself feel the need to work out today. I couldn't get out of bed until half an hour again because I am a woman and my body does it's own thing. I took eight IB profeun before eating anything which probably won't help anything. Ashley doesn't feel good either.

I deleted the last entry that I wrote last night because I didn't like it. As Corrie says, "Oh, the power of censorship!"

I have one more midterm tomorrow, which I studied for a little last night. Need to kick it into high gear tonight, though.

I couldn't sleep last night so I started taking down last month's bulletin boards and one of my girls came over to me while I was working, sat down and poured out her heart. When things like that happen, it makes me absolutely love my job. They trust me enough to come with boy problems, parent problems, friend problems, or just to plop down on my bed and watch some TV. I LOVE IT. It's sappy, yes, but it makes me feel a little better about myself and the role I have in their lives.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"Don't forget--we're turtles!"

Yeah, so I am a huge loser and have been watching old school intros to cartoons we watched in the '90s and trailers for old movies. Andrew thought it would be awesome to announce that he loves Bobby's World, and I would have to agree...which led me to this website. It is fantastic! Check it out.

Today was and continues to be a super busy day. I'm rather enjoying it, too. I think I kicked butt on both tests I've taken today...hopefully. And I have a break from tests until Thursday so tonight I'm taking my girls to see American History X which is showing here on campus. Exciting, eh?

Saturday, March 03, 2007

"'Sup, yo?"

My new favorite phrase. For a while there it was "All up in mah grill!" What can I say? I don't want to be a cowboy, baby. I want to be a gansta. ;)

So this weekend is treating me roughly. Very roughly. Yesterday I was so sick and I could hardly make it to the bathroom and back to bed. Ashley decided I needed to go to the Student Health Services. To make a long story short, I have a virus and it's making me sick which is making me dehydrated. They stuck me three times to get an IV going but my veins were not having it. So instead they did a blood test to tell me that yes, indeed, I am sick. Anyway, I feel waaaay better today. I drank so much water yesterday that I had the five-minute pee that Tom Hanks has in A League of Their Own. I'm on duty tonight and tomorrow which means I can't leave the building from 17:00 tonight until 8:00 Monday morning. But then the girl who was on duty today said she had a meeting she needed to go to so I've covered her shift since 14:30 today. It's been a lot of me in the dorm room.

This upcoming week is uber busy. I am giving two tours on Monday for the admissions office since it's an Open House (But hey, I get paid!) then a meeting Monday night for the central campus government. Tuesday I have two tests and then I am taking my floor to see American History X which being shown as a part of the Social Justice Series...and of course, Encounter. Wednesday is band and studying for another test on Thursday. I'm not exactly sure when I will be coming home. Either Friday night or Saturday morning. I'm thinking more along the lines of Saturday. That way I can hang out with Ashley until she leaves for Ireland...and I will be able to get all my stuff pulled together.

I'm not sure how I feel about spring break yet. I tried calling SnS several times and I haven't been able to talk to the GM or any of the other managers...I might not be working. I'm very sad I'll be missing Ireland, but I'll get to see Jessie which doesn't happen very often. And all the U of I kids start break March 16 so we're going to go see the musical together, which will be fun.

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend...


And just so everyone knows, I've been keeping my pictures on photobucket up-to-date, so make sure to check them out!