"If we're not enough..."

I'm blah. I was at an all-time low yesterday...I am still adjusting to my mood swings--I blame the hormones.

It's been a tiring last couple of weeks. I do my own thing constantly. Because I have to be away from the house so much (class and work), it almost seems like I have fewer responsibilities. I want to spend more time at home, but between Rachel and all my friends plus work and school, I don't get a lot of time to chill on the couch with Dad and Patty. Tomorrow I'll be home until I work tomorrow night, so that'll be some good down time.

I miss Ashley something fierce. I'm so glad she'll be back in a week, which means she'll probably be down in Springfield in about two weeks--I know she can't wait to see me. And believe it or not, she actually enjoys the Patch. And I miss Mom, I know she's having fun with Len. And Bobby...I need to see him and give him a hug.

Bekki and I are having a fun night on Thursday. We're getting dressed up, going to the mall to take pictures in the booths and walk around in our dresses, eating somewhere nice, and going to the park to take some pictures. I love goofing around with her, it makes me one happy camper.

I've recently noted that I have four girls, besides Rachel, that I would consider a best friend. It always frustrate me when people say you can only have one best friend. Not true in my case. I have two at ISU, two here at home, but all four are from different circles of friends and have different attitudes about so many things. I'm really afraid my friendships with the girls from ISU are going to deteoriate, which is absolutely the last thing I want to happen.

My internet is down so excuse my lack of anything internet. I'm running late to class, but I thought I would drop a line. Hope everyone is doing well.

Some things here are very frustrating (namely a couple of people who will remain nameless) but on the whole everything is going really well. Rachel spends more and more time with her boyfriend. I like him, but sometimes he says things in a joking manner than make me want to tear him in half--that's my uber over-protective big sister in me. He better watch out. ;)

*awkward silence*

The internet is magically back up and running so I am on the interent, obviously...at 2:30am.

Revelations of the week:
-I am turning into a bit of a hippie. Not in dress, mind you, but in the fact that I'm getting more and more liberal in my political views and the people I've recently gotten closer to.
-I am a friend of convenience. This is both a good and a bad thing.
-I really don't like boys right now. It's just a down time for them...not really appreciating them at all.
-I am very busy.
-Gretchen Wilson will be at the State Fair along with Daughtry (separate night of course).

We had to take this political placement test online for my politics class, and I was on the line between liberal and communitarian. It's not where I placed myself before the test, but then again I didn't really think that all my opinions on policies and current issues added up would make me liberal (now that I've thought about it, it makes sense).

Kristen is the only person from high school (with the exception of the Leber boys) that I talk to on a regular basis. With everyone else, we only really hang out on breaks and such. Bekki I didn't really become close with until right after we graduated, but between Bekki and Kristen...there lies the continual friendship.

I was supposed to hang out with a friend, and I found out later the reason was because he/she got laid. If said friend had called me to tell me this, I wouldn't have been bothered too much, but because I found out from someone else after the fact, I am pretty pissed. Yeah, this is somewhat amusing to other people...but I think if you knew the situation, you wouldn't be laughing so hard. I feel like this person only calls me when he/she needs a little self-esteem boost because I seem to provide that through moral support or something to that effect, but as soon as a better opportunity comes along, I'm left in the dust. I will not remain a doormat, thank you.

"I left you a present!"

So what's happened since my last entry? My baby sister graduated from high school--and I didn't cry. I was very proud of myself. And her. As Jessie mentioned, the quote of the day (perhaps even the year) was Rachel talking about her presents, which were laying in her lap--a bottle of margarita mix, a fleece blanket, and a MIT beaver from one of those build-a-bear places. "I can get drunk and curl up with my blanket and my beaver!" Jessie and I were laughing so hard, I was crying actually. No one heard what she said so we had to relay the message to the rest of the family with the exception of Aunt Mae. I don't think any of Rachel's friends really understood. But that's okay.

I've been talking to Kyle more, which is a good thing. It's nice to know that I'll have someone else to hang out with who lives at home. The only downside is that our schedules don't match up very well. One of us always seems to be working. We both had last night off and were supposed to hang out but that didn't work out because he fell asleep. Oh, well.

Rachel and I had a pity party the other night. She came in kind of upset because it's finally hitting her that she's leaving everything behind. Everything. Her boyfriend, her family, all her friends...she is going to miss us all tremendously, not that I can blame her. I don't think I'd be able to go so far away not knowing anyone. But her friend Becca is going to be in Connecticut, only an hour and a half away so that will be of some help. We went to the truck stop (because DQ was closed) and got pints of Hagen-Daaz and some chips then proceeded to watch two episodes of Law & Order. I gotta tell you that Rachel and I are certainly easy to please.

"He got me the hook-up!"

Kristen and I are currently talking about her new car...'05 Toyota Corolla.

I am still floating in some rain cloud. I have to say that it's finally hitting me how much I miss Ashley. She left for London last Thursday and should be in Ireland by tomorrow.

I'm hanging out with Kristen tomorrow...we need it. And Rachel is graduating on Saturday. I'm going to look hot. And we're having a family meeting on Saturday. We all know Mom's moving; the question is when.